audio-talk

went to the cemetary yesterday to lay some flowers on a relative's grave.
As I was standing there I noticed four undertakers walking about with a coffin...
Three hours later and they're still walking about with it...

I thought to myself, these f*ckers have lost the plot!!

Hi Ed,

Yes, clever but it is a brain function thing. Try it on you left foot and left hand as well. Same effect. Left foot and right hand doesn't do it as does not right foot and left hand. Great fun though particularly for the uninitiated.

Best wishes,

Greg

Nah, piffle

its cos your left foot is not as smart as your right foot Greg..!

Piffle, it's his flat feet that are the problem.

not a yoke as such..but check this out:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2381098.html?menu=

Judging by my view that my 17 year old appreentice is actually one of the better ones, totally normal teenage behaviour.

Simple Questions

The simple ones are the best.

You'll enjoy this...

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?















The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.






2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?














Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer




Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.









3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All of the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?





Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.







4. There is a river. You must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?











Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.





According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

This one is deffo for Mr Barker....

Researchers have discovered the original manuscript of the Kama Sutra. It includes several new sexual positions including The Plumber. Basically, you stay in all day and nobody comes.

Blonde and new windows

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive
double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the
contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been
installed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them yet.

Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last
year...namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for
themselves!

Helllooooo"! ! (I told him). "It's been a year"!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung
up...he hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the
guarantee they made me.

Bet he won't underestimate my intelligence again.

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